Wednesday, January 14, 2015

1st Trimester Confessions

So I am almost four weeks out of the first trimester, but better late than never, right? I am seriously growing more and more excited about this baby on a daily basis and its already crazy to me to look back and see the changes my body has made over the past seventeen weeks and even more so, how God is preparing my heart daily to become a mom. I am starting to plan the nursery and working on my baby registry, and with each of these fun milestones, I want to document and share so I have these memories to look back on. There's not a lot of pregnancy thoughts here on the blog because I kept it pretty quiet up til the end of the first trimester, so even just a few weeks after the second trimester has started, a lot of these things I wrote earlier have already changed so much which is crazy to me!

  • I found out I was pregnant just a few days after we came home from Hawaii, and on my second day of work at my new job. I remember being terrified, and wondering how I might make it through my entrance probation if I was sick and tired all the time. I doubted my decision to leave my old job, and part of me thought that had I known, I would've stayed there. But, now that I am finally feeling back to normal and have started to get the hang of my job and settle in there, I am so thankful I made the move!
  • During the last few weeks of my first trimester, I remember feeling like my body was foreign to me. I was in that awkward early, but not too early,stage of pregnancy where my stomach was barely starting to poke out and I was sure that strangers wonder to themselves "Is she pregnant or is that just a food baby?" My face was(is) also breaking out like crazy, and just didn't feel like myself physically. 
  • I have zero interest in cloth diapering. I know, I know its so much cheaper and more environmentally friendly, but the thought of tossing poop from a diaper into the toilet and then tossing a load of poop stained diapers into my washing machine daily makes my head want to explode. I want to be more motivated but I just can't. I am sorry, Mother Nature and hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. And cloth diapering moms-I commend you, and I really think you are a rockstar, and I may even wish I was more like you when I am dropping a small fortune on diapers every month and you had one upfront cost. But its just not going to happen for me.
  • I survived the entire first 12 weeks or so on carbs. Carbs carbs carbs. I was suddenly turned off by meat and eggs and coffee, and just wanted french fries and pasta daily. I still actually am not drinking coffee and I am not sure if it still makes me sick, or if I just am scared that it will so I am still avoiding it.  
  • I worked out exactly one time in my first twelve weeks and that was a 5k that I was signed up to run long before I knew I was pregnant. I just could not find the energy. I know I should be getting at least some form of exercise and I know the benefits of working out while pregnant, but after working all day, the only thing I want to do is put on my flannel pjs and take a nap.
  • And nap is what I did, almost every single day after work. I came straight home and crawled into bed and my husband being the saint he is took over meal planning and prepping and fed me, often times delivering food to my bed where I'd stay all night.
  • The baby message boards are a lot like a car accident-so terrible, I can't look away. The baby center app I am using to track baby's growth has things called birth clubs and you put in your due date and all women due in that month post all day long things from : I'm so sick and miserable help to Why am I not sick, am I still pregnant? And let me tell you: never once have I learned any valuable or helpful information but I cannot.stay.away. Honestly, all the baby boards have done for me is A. Create an insane amount of anxiety about the state of my pregnancy and B. Give me something to read aloud to my husband because its just so insane I can't not share. So, I will tell you what my wise friend Lisa told me, and I promptly ignored: Stay away from the baby boards.
  • I still drink caffeine. GASP! My doctor told me I can have up to 200 mg's of caffeine per day and by golly, I am taking advantage of that. I mostly get it from coke, which again, people are generally horrified by regularly but I can't do coffee and this mama to be wakes up at 5:30 to work people. Caffeine is happening.

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