The world has always been a pretty scary place for me. I can hardly stand to watch the news because I am always confronted with sad and tragic news. Everywhere we turn whether the news, social media, or overheard in the morning office there are car accidents and random acts of violence, there are mothers miscarrying the babies they prayed for and there are children kidnapped and things like Ebola and ISIS, there are lay off's and foreclosures and I could go on and on but I won't because I am not trying to depress anyone this early.
Maybe you're like me, and these type of stories and reports are not only scary to you, but they can send you into a tailspin of "What if that happens to me? What if MY husband gets in a car accident on the way home? What if I lost my job" For many years I have walked around with a heavy blanket of anxiety, worrying about the what ifs and the could happens. It is an unhealthy way to live, but I felt like that was just how my mind worked, and I couldn't rewire my brain.
I started my new job on Monday, but before I accepted the offer, I was terrified of the change. I was terrified of having to start all over, to go on a probationary period again, terrified of having a new boss and new coworkers and doubted my ability to learn and excel at something new. Through some great counsel from my husband, mom and girlfriend, I didn't let that fear hold me back, and now just three days into the new job, I am glad I let go of that anxiety and made the leap anyway.
The past few weeks, I have felt a greater sense of peace than I have felt for as long as I can remember. I've let go of the things I can't control, I've given myself permission to enjoy each moment instead of fearing what is coming next. I've practiced thanking God for the little blessings in each day, and praying for His will to be done when I feel anxious or afraid. It helps me tremendously to go back through old prayer journals and look at all the ways God has answered my prayers and provided for our family. I rest easier knowing that although there are still countless things that could go wrong in my life, my family's life, this country and world, I know that God is still good. He is still God and he takes care of His children.
Worrying about them, stressing, keeping ourselves up at night over the what ifs is really saying to God that we don't trust Him to take care of us. And lately, when I have moments of fear or anxiety, I whisper to God "I trust you." Tragedy and sadness are everywhere in this broken world, but I know that God can redeem any situation, any heartbreak, any tragedy for His glory. That is worth trusting in to me.
Linking up with Rachel and Maddison for Community Brew one of my most favorite monthly linkups.