There's something about sitting with your legs curled up under you, a cup of coffee in hand while someone sits across from you, asking you how you're really doing and really caring about the answer. There's something about coffee dates that brings courage to be real with the person across from you that I personally am hard pressed to find elsewhere. Coffee dates are comfortable, they're inviting, and they feel like a safe place.
Today, I'm participating in Rachel's from Oh Simple Thoughts coffee date linkup. If I had my way, we would really be sitting across a small table in a coffee shop from one another, talking about life and marriage and ministry and God's goodness, but as goes with blog friends, they're just simply too far away.
Today, if you asked me how I was really doing, I would tell you I feel heavy. I feel like I am carrying so many burdens, fears and anxieties around that I just can't seem to sit down. I cried on the way home from work today, asking God when we could just catch a break. And immediately after that, I felt guilt and even shame that wants to ttell me that its wrong for me to complain about circumstances in my life when really, we are beyond blessed. Our life is not one that is hard, but I realized I don't like to be uncomfortable. But I think its important to note that God is not offended by my complaints, my questions, or my requests. He longs for us to pour our hearts out to Him, even when our hearts need His gentle pruning.
I see the areas of my heart that God is so lovingly pruning. I've been getting a lesson in patience, about surrendering my own desires, and about releasing that tight death grip of control and truly trusting God with our future. God is so patient with me, gently whispering to my heart that He will take care of me, that His love covers me and is enough, that He is in control so I don't have to fight so hard to try to be in control. I hear his call to set down my burdens in His loving hands because He is trustworthy. I hear His reminders to stay close to his loving voice, to direct every thought to Him, to just take one step, and then another after another, to walk the road He has carved for me.
Friends, whatever burden you might be trying to carry on your own, you can set it down. I know how hard this is, especially if you are like me and have spent years trying to prove to yourself that you have it all together, that if you just worked harder, you'd finally get it. Today, I am setting down the things that weigh on me in the loving hands of our father who wants to carry them for us. He is faithful, even when I am faithless.