Thursday, April 17, 2014

Being A Newlywed: What People Don't Tell You

Hello friends---today, one of my very favorite gals is taking over. Rachel's blog was one of the first blogs I ever read-her blog was inspiring, funny, and I felt like I was her instant BFF. Rachel is a gorgeous, charming southern belle who recently got married and has post full of wisdom and truth about what being a newlywed is actually like. ENJOY! 


Hi y'all! I'm Rachel and I blog over at Rachel Rewritten. 

To say I'm thrilled to be posting here on Brittany's blog is an understatement. I love her and I love everything her blog stands for, so I jumped at the chance to be a part of it! I'm a newlywed who loves Jesus and my husband, so Brittany and I have that in common! I'm here today with a little post about the newlywed life and the things no one tells you.


So, first you get engaged. And then it's all fun and games while you're surrounded by parties, showers, planning, and a big white dress. But what happens after the honeymoon ends? When all the hoopla dies down? Now you're just a wife, living the newlywed life. Here's the dish on what people don't tell you. 

{one} The advice starts pouring in. Everyone around you thinks they're an expert at marriage. Anyone from your hairdresser to your cousin's best friend's dog walker will provide you with unsolicited advice on how to make sure your marriage is successful. Take all these tips with a grain of salt people, because, let's face it, your marriage is YOUR marriage, not theirs. Even in our short 3 months of marriage, I've learned that I have to do what's best for us, regardless of the advice that's been given.

{two} People have no shame in asking about your sex life. You'll get the, "So how was the honeymoon?" question, along with a wink wink. Sorry people, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. This isn't the Real Housewives, I don't kiss and tell.

{three} The baby questions start before the reception is over. "So are y'all going to have kids soon? You should wait a while and enjoy yourself!" Oh, thank you, random stranger, who asks it as if they just asked something as simple as what I ate for lunch. It's the age old story---when you're dating, they want to know when you're getting engaged. Then engaged to married. And now married to having kids. Sure, we want kids. Just not yet. I want to enjoy this stage of life and the freedom that comes with it. But when it happens, we'll be the happiest couple around.

{four} Balancing friends and husband is more difficult than you'd think. As the days go by, I realize how important it is to spend time with my husband. Not just sitting next to each other on the couch, but real, intentional, involved time with each other. And at the same time, I miss my movie dates and girls nights with my friends. The balance is a very fine line and I'm learning day to day that it's not easy. In the end, I know my husband comes first and everything else, second. Your real friends know that and understand. Even if the girls nights go from once a week to once a month, it makes those nights a little more special! 

{five} Time flies when you're a newlywed. I feel as if our wedding was just yesterday, and yet, almost 3 months have gone by. Cherish each day with your husband. Make time for each other and don't let the days slip away. Before I know it, it's going to be our year anniversary, so I want to make sure we make the most of this year! 

{six} Take time for you. Although spending time with your partner is so important, you've gotta have "you" time, too. Find something that you like to do on your own. Create a quiet space in your house for you to enjoy. Trust me, your husband will thank you when you're refreshed and energized. And he needs to do the same! Your marriage will thank you--when you ARE together, that time will be so much sweeter.

{seven} Despite everyone telling you the first year is the hardest, it'll be the best time yet. Learning to live with someone and figuring out all of their quirks and habits is tough, but I wouldn't trade this time for anything. We've been together for 3+ years, but these first few months of marriage have been special--I feel like we're back in the early stages of dating when everything is new and exciting again. I wait impatiently for him to get home from work. I look at him and get butterflies, because this man is my husband, and I get to be his wife. It's a crazy wonderful feeling.

Well, even after all of that, I'm clearly no marriage expert (hello--3 months in!) but every day I'm growing and learning, and every day I'm growing to love my husband more. I think I like this newlywed stage, y'all. Thanks for having me, Brittany! 


14 comments:

  1. #3. Oh man. That one is great. I'm pretty sarcastic so depending on the person I would tell them about how hard we were "trying" and how "fun" it was though. Usually that would freak them out and make them stop! Ha!

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    1. this makes me laugh. When people ask if we are trying to have a baby, my husband says "We are practicing a lot!"

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    2. I LOVE this reply...OMG I'm definitely going to be using that one soon. Maybe that's the approach I should take--just be quiet candid and make them feel really awkward :)

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    3. exactly. It may or may not be true, but either way, it shuts them up, ha.

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  2. Yes, yes, and yes. I love this. Rachel's blog was also one of the first I read too, which got me into it!

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  3. {2} What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom! Love that haha! Great post!

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  4. I've been married for almost six months, and I can attest that all of this is soooooo true! I was just telling someone the other day that it seemed like people gave us about a five month window, but it seems like EVERY.SINGLE.DAY since the five-month mark, I've had the baby question...often multiple times per day. It doesn't really bother me, but I can't help but think "what if we were trying and having difficulties getting pregnant?" I'm sure I would just burst into tears when I sensed someone was evening THINKING about asking about kids...haha...and that is why I'll never be the girl to ask about your plans for starting a family.

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  5. Yes! The best advice I will give to any newlywed is to wait to have kids and just enjoy your time as the 2 of you first and your marriage.

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  6. With our wedding day quickly approaching, this is all good.to.know!! Xx.

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  7. Whoa--I'm just glad I've never gotten question #2--now that's awkward!

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  8. Such a cute post! :) And very true! ;)

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  9. Such a great post and SO true!!! I will have been married 2 years in June and can tell you right now- #1 and #3 don't stop, even as time goes on, ha!

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  10. The advice! Ahh! Even before we left our reception I felt like everyone who attended had weighed in!

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  11. I agree with all of these things! I got married 6 months ago and have experienced them all. Good post!!

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