Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Weekly Marriage Checkup




I mentioned last week that something Ronnie and I were going to start doing is having an intentional time to talk about our marriage weekly. To take its temperature if you will, and be sure we were loving each other well. We decided on Saturday mornings. Saturdays are "our day" and we both do a pretty good job of protecting that time. During the week our nights get crazy busy between dinner club, youth group, hanging with our friends, and working late, but Saturdays we don't usually make plans to do things apart and save the day to do whatever we want together. Sometimes we just lay around and read, sometimes we binge on netflix, sometimes we go out to lunch and run errands, but we always start the day with breakfast.


Last Saturday, we ate our breakfast prepared by Ronnie in bed and asked each other three questions:

1. How did I make you feel loved last week?
2. How can I love you better this week?
3. How can I pray for you?

Those three simple questions are to help us serve and love each other best. Sometimes, I know I don't do a great job at intentionally loving Ronnie, and I know that me communicating to Ronnie about exactly what would make me feel loved helps him, like giving him a road map. There is so many expectations that we as women can bring to marriage, and I think its important to first admit we have them, and then working on changing those expectations into desires. I can tell Ronnie I desire him to help me with the cooking, but as soon as I expect it, if it doesn't happen, I could become resentful and frustrated.

One thing I did tell Ronnie that he could do that would make me feel loved is be in charge of dinner a couple nights a week. I am just such a planner by nature, that being able to write my name by dinner on Sunday, Monday and Friday and write Ronnie's by Tuesday and Thursday is just calming to me. When we didn't really have a plan, I sometimes felt stressed and tired and didn't feel like cooking some nights so I would just lay in bed and pout until he caved and threw something together because he was starving.  This week has already gone beautifully and it has taken some serious stress off me simply having a meal plan plus knowing who's "job" it was to cook.

I also was really blown away by what a simple thing that Ronnie mentioned for a way I could love him better. He asked me "to tell him he was awesome" more. Basically that is guy speak for "give him words of affirmation and encouragement." He is seriously SO good to me, and I don't do a good enough job of telling him thank you, of using my words to express to him how much I love him and appreciate him. I am much more of a "show me" and he definitely is a "tell me" type of guy, so this week, I am working on being more intentional with using my words to tell him I love him.

I'm really excited about this and can't wait to continue having our weekly Saturday Marriage Checkups and seeing how our relationship grows because of it.

Tell me, do you have a "marriage checkup?" weekly, monthly, etc? Do you have certain questions you  ask each other? I'd love to hear!

19 comments:

  1. Warner and I check in daily. And FYI he and I are doing AWESOME.

    But in all seriousness--I love the work you put in to your marriage. It's inspiring.

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  2. Oh my gosh, I am totally loving this idea.

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  3. This is such a great idea, I love it. It's so inspiring that y'all check up with each other weekly! My husband will ask me randomly if he did a good job on things (like cleaning the dishes or making dinner), so I think it's definitely a guy thing to need encouragement and reassurance!

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  4. 3 easy questions! With such big intention!! Love this idea, dearest!!xx

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  5. Husband and I decided last week we wanted to start holding "family council", something we want to continue once we have kids. Basically the same idea as you! Talking about the week, budgeting, making plans, talking about how we can improve etc. I love it!

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  6. Great idea! Have you heard of the blog today's letters? www.todaysletters.com. I think you'd really like it!

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  7. I'm definitely going to start doing this with Christian!

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  8. Such a simple investment that will give you great rewards!

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  9. these are good questions to ask - I really woke up this morning asking "how can I be a better wife?"

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  10. This is awesome!!! :) I tried this with Joe once and he just looked at me like I was silly, he doesn't love being put on the spot with questions, but I think it's great when other couples do it! :)

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  11. Communication of desires helps so much! All too often we hope that the other person will just know what we want...but it sets us up for failure if we don't communicate!

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  12. I love this idea! Nate and I may have to implement it!

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  13. I love this! My husband and I usually pick one question off our bible study group to discuss per week, but I like this better!

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  14. I love this idea! My boyfriend and I aren't married, but as a couple living together I feel like it's very important to ask these questions as well.

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  15. I really loved this post...I can't wait to practice this know + pull it up to look at again :) Xx.

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  16. I really, really love this! I don't think enough people take a proactive approach to their marriage like this, and I think that's probably the best way to keep a relationship healthy. I know I can tell my husband that he's awesome more, so thanks for the reminder! I think I'll probably start asking these questions too :)

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  17. I absolutely love this. We did this before and it went by the wayside. We need to get back in the habit of doing it. I am in absolute awe of your relationships with God and how hard you work in your marriage.

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  18. Those are such great questions to end the day with! X and I have never had specific questions but have always kept the lines of communication open. I love this idea though and will be trying it out this week :)

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