I mentioned last week that something Ronnie and I were going to start doing is having an intentional time to talk about our marriage weekly. To take its temperature if you will, and be sure we were loving each other well. We decided on Saturday mornings. Saturdays are "our day" and we both do a pretty good job of protecting that time. During the week our nights get crazy busy between dinner club, youth group, hanging with our friends, and working late, but Saturdays we don't usually make plans to do things apart and save the day to do whatever we want together. Sometimes we just lay around and read, sometimes we binge on netflix, sometimes we go out to lunch and run errands, but we always start the day with breakfast.
Last Saturday, we ate our breakfast prepared by Ronnie in bed and asked each other three questions:
1. How did I make you feel loved last week?
2. How can I love you better this week?
3. How can I pray for you?
Those three simple questions are to help us serve and love each other best. Sometimes, I know I don't do a great job at intentionally loving Ronnie, and I know that me communicating to Ronnie about exactly what would make me feel loved helps him, like giving him a road map. There is so many expectations that we as women can bring to marriage, and I think its important to first admit we have them, and then working on changing those expectations into desires. I can tell Ronnie I desire him to help me with the cooking, but as soon as I expect it, if it doesn't happen, I could become resentful and frustrated.
One thing I did tell Ronnie that he could do that would make me feel loved is be in charge of dinner a couple nights a week. I am just such a planner by nature, that being able to write my name by dinner on Sunday, Monday and Friday and write Ronnie's by Tuesday and Thursday is just calming to me. When we didn't really have a plan, I sometimes felt stressed and tired and didn't feel like cooking some nights so I would just lay in bed and pout until he caved and threw something together because he was starving. This week has already gone beautifully and it has taken some serious stress off me simply having a meal plan plus knowing who's "job" it was to cook.
I also was really blown away by what a simple thing that Ronnie mentioned for a way I could love him better. He asked me "to tell him he was awesome" more. Basically that is guy speak for "give him words of affirmation and encouragement." He is seriously SO good to me, and I don't do a good enough job of telling him thank you, of using my words to express to him how much I love him and appreciate him. I am much more of a "show me" and he definitely is a "tell me" type of guy, so this week, I am working on being more intentional with using my words to tell him I love him.
I'm really excited about this and can't wait to continue having our weekly Saturday Marriage Checkups and seeing how our relationship grows because of it.
Tell me, do you have a "marriage checkup?" weekly, monthly, etc? Do you have certain questions you ask each other? I'd love to hear!