If you came over for coffee, we’d settle in and the first thing I’d ask you is how you’re really doing. Oh, I know you want to smile and say fine, maybe tell me that work is busy and life is crazy. But how are you really doing? How is your heart? What are you wrestling with right now? Will you share with me in the comments below? If you don’t feel comfortable, will you e-mail and tell me: how are you doing, really?
If you came over for coffee, I’d tell you that I have a confession to make. I haven’t opened my bible for over two weeks, and I haven’t had time just pouring out my heart to God either. I feel shame for this, so its not easy for me to admit that I have been choosing sleep, time on the computer, blogging, and Netflix over this time with Jesus I desperately need. Why is it so easy for me to let something so crucial, so vital to my own spiritual and emotional well being slip? Why is it constantly pushed to the bottom of my priority list when I know how despartely my heart and soul needs this time?
If you came over for coffee I’d tell you that I read something the other day in Beth Moore’s book, Breaking Free and it just hit me straight at my core. It was in a chapter of the book called the "Obstacle of Prayerlessness" and it said : "Without a doubt, avoiding prayer is a sure prescription for anxiety, a certain way to avoid peace. "
A sure prescription for anxiety. I don't know about you, but I struggle with anxiety on a daily basis without needing a prescription for more. A certain way to avoid peace. I've felt this restlessness in my heart, this doubt creeping in, a fear of the unknown over the past few weeks and couldn't quite put a finger on it. I couldn't quite understand where it was coming from, but I've been trying to do this thing called life on my own, and I haven't been staying in communication with the One who gives me His strength and His peace.
So if you came up for coffee and asked me how I was doing, I'd confess this to you. I'd tell you that this is where I am at right now, and instead of feeling shame and guilt for it, I want you to know that I'm human. I fall short and forget to say my prayers at night and read my daily scripture, but God is relentlessly pursuing my heart, and He's pursuing yours too. It doesn't matter that I haven't met with God for weeks because tonight, when I sign off this computer to sit at His feet with my bible and a cup of tea, He will be waiting for me with open arms and joy as His child turns back to Him.His love is not dependent on our works, and He desperately longs to be our strength, our comfort, our helper, our peace and pour out his love onto us.
So tell me...how are you doing, really?