I am going to just come out and say that for me, genuine contentment doesn't come easy. Why is there such a sense of shame and embarrassment when we admit things about ourselves that aren't perfect? When we confess the ugly parts of our hearts out loud, I believe it brings healing and allows God room to refine us. I believe it brings freedom as well. I don't know if you're reading this and thinking "me too" but if you are, know, you're not alone. If you are thinking "I don't struggle with contentment" I would love to chat more about how you've found contentment in all of life's seasons.
I've battled true, genuine contentment for as long as I can remember. As a single girl, I longed for marriage. In high school, I longed for freedom and independence of a college student. In college, I counted the days down til when I could finally be a "real adult". I've begged God for a good job in my field and then turned around and wished I didn't have to work and could just stay home and be a wife. I mean, my list goes on and on you guys.
I don't know if its my type A, striving to achieve personality, or the way the world tells us to always be striving for that next best thing. To follow the order of events culture has deemed acceptable. To go to college, get that good job, get married, buy a house, get that promotion, have kids, etc. And what I've found true of myself, and many others is that we reach that milestone, and then we sit and revel in that feeling of accomplishment for about .2 seconds, and then are back on the grind, trying to reach that next milestone. That next step in our career or finally upgrading from an apartment to our own home or starting a family. I've found myself believing once I get to that point in my life, or once we have that, life will be better. I will be happy. I will be fulfilled.
What is your "thing" right now? When I get _____, I will be _______.
I do believe that God is intentional, and has placed you where you are at right now for a specific purpose. And its hard to wrap our minds around when we have a desire that is just about bursting out of our hearts for something different isn't it? I asked my husband the other day "What if God calls us to do XYZ?" And it was one of those things that was a dream. Like, if God made it clear that was desire for us, I don't know HOW it would ever happen. And so simply and matter of factly, he told me that if that was God's desire for our lives, He will provide the tools and ways for it to happen.
My little obsessive human brain sometimes just can't accept that though. Instead, I want a plan of how we will get from where we are now, to where I want us to be. I leave God out, and think that if I work hard enough, if I make enough plans, if I take matters into my own hands, then we can claw our way there. But in my discontent, I am basically telling God that what He's blessed me with now isn't quite good enough.
But maybe what God is asking of me, is to be content with where He has me now. To thank him for the abundance of blessings He's given us. To reflect on every way, big and small, He has come through for us and answered big prayers. To remember that He has never made a promise He hasn't kept. To remember that every single one of my days has been written in His book, and that I am never going to find contentment in my job or the size of my house or the vacations we go on or the amount of money in our bank account. That true contentment is found in Christ alone and the joy He offers us so greatly surpasses the joy I could find in the things of this world.
"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and
all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33