Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Don't Make These Dating Mistakes: Part Two

Its time for another segment of dating mistakes that you might be making. I feel the need to put a disclaimer here: I am not a dating expert, and I also am not trying to point out all the things you're doing wrong. I personally am guilty of each one of these dating mistakes I am going to be sharing, and really my only hope is that you might learn from the lessons I had to learn the hard way!

Raise your hand if you remember the movie "He's Just Not That Into You?" If you don't you should probably watch it because I really do think there's a lot of truth to that movie.

The one thing I have learned about is that if a man is into you, you will know it. You won't be left waiting by your phone, checking it obsessively during spin class and wondering why you haven't heard from the guy for a week.  You can call me old fashioned, and if you think that maybe I have it all wrong, then it won't hurt my feelings if you just disregard this advice.

I think that as women, we don't do a very good job of letting guys pursue us. As women, I think we all have this longing to be romanced. To be pursued, and to be wanted. And God made us with that desire, so its okay to admit that! God also made men to be manly men that desire to chase and to hunt.  Girls, we need to stop doing every guys job FOR them! If they are interested, they will come after you. They will be calling you, they'll be texting you, they'll be asking when they can see you again, they will be opening your doors and paying for your dates.

And I think some guys don't do this because so many girls have done it for them. They've gotten lazy and they've been happily sitting back while girls are doing all the work for them! I feel really strongly about women letting men pursue them. According to my husband "Guys want to be the initiator. They need to chase after something. When they want something they will go after it." Did you hear that? When they want something, they will GO after it. They will come after you, they will pursue you, but you have to let them.  

Ladies: You are WORTH pursuing. You are beautiful, you are loved, you are special. And the only guy worth your time will recognize that and will be honored to pursue you. I'm not saying you should be playing games or pretending to be hard to get. When Ronnie and I were dating, it wasn't a secret that I liked him and wanted to be with him. But the key is I didn't let him off the hook by doing the work of pursuing me for him! Still to this day, he pursues me. He loves me well, he serves me, he surprises me, and I never wonder where his heart is.

Back in my early twenties, I thought I knew what was best for my life. I believed I was in control, that I had my life figured out, I knew what kind of guy I was going to end up with and what kind of life I would lead. I honestly believed I knew what was best for me, and I took my dating life into my own hands. I really didn't know, and I imagine God sitting back just watching me go down a destructive path, thinking "Sweet daughter, I have so much better in store for you, if you'd just trust me." Waiting on the lord and His timing is HARD, especially when you're single and just aching for someone to call your own. But God has nothing but GOOD in store for those of us who wait on Him! My story is proof of that friends!


  1. Yes!! I'm so glad that I took the "I want to be pursued" route. My husband wasn't used to girls who didn't want to chase him, but he realized from the beginning that I was a bit "old-fashioned", that he'd have to take some initiative...and it led to us having great memories of his pursuit! :)

  2. I think it's SO important to allow a man to pursue you in the whole dating game! Some of my worst dating mistakes were made because I put far too much effort into pursuing the guy and he didn't have to do anything to keep me around! I ended up with some not-so-great men, for sure. A lot of my friends claim that playing hard to get or intentionally not putting too much effort into a relationship is 'game playing' and 'they don't play games' but I think you either play the game to win or to lose, but either way - dating is a game and we are (were) all playing it whether we wanted to be or not!

  3. I asked my hubby what he thought of this and it's said you are totally right! Men like to think they "won" the challenge of winning us over. They are natural born hunters :)

  4. When my husband first asked me to be his girlfriend, I said no! I made him work for it and it was so worth it for both of us, haha!

  5. Amen to that! I'm so glad I listened to my sister years ago when she told me to not pursue Lamar (my now husband) and just see what he does instead. Before then, I'd done all the pursuing when I liked a guy. It lead to so many heartbreaks!

  6. So true... I really love this advice.
    Thank you friend <3

  7. This is so true! I love that you pointed out God created the desire in us to be pursued, because if marriage is to be compared to Christ and His bride, the church...and since Christ pursues US, it only makes sense that a man will also pursue a woman, his future bride, the same way! Love this!!
    Eva Marie Taylor