Tuesday, September 17, 2013

When Peace Elludes You


This morning I opened my devotional while I was trying to motivate myself to start the day, and once again sat there not only convicted, but also in awe of our Heavenly Father who knows exactly what I struggle with, what I am afraid of, and what I need to hear. Even when I turn away from Him, and don't sit at His feet like he so longs for me to, when I don't talk to him about what is going on in my heart, he still knows, he still cares, and he still is the one who can give me the power to overcome.

Yesterday I was trapped in the too-familiar cycle of excessive planning, an attempt to control, to make sure everything on October 5th goes smoothly. I was stressed, I was anxious, and frustrated by my mile-long to-do list.

After prayerfully asking God to help me let go of my Type-A tendencies, my fear of forgetting something, of things not going smoothly, I felt a sense of peace that has been absent the past few days. That doesn't mean that everything is done, and that I am 100% ready for the wedding, but I know there is only so much I can do in a day. That the errands and the appointments and meetings aren't meant to cause me so much stress, they are things I get to do in order to prepare for the happiest day of our lives. Little by little, things will get done. We will get married. And then the real fun begins. :)

2 comments:

  1. Praying for peace for you, pretty lady :) Try and enjoy this time - it's only a season and it shall pass xx

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  2. I am so glad you wrote this because I felt so convicted by that very same devotional. For all my life I have been about lists, planning how things should go, making up stories in my mind about how I want and wish my life would look. Lately my life has not being going as planned. In fact it is going really downhill. Health issues continuing that all these plans of mine can't seem to fix, new job that I don't feel smart enough or good enough for, no friends and loneliness, the guy I really like not only getting a girlfriend but also just last week getting engaged to her, my aunt being diagnosed with cancer on her brain, suffering a major brain bleed and most likely will pass away before the end of this year. Life is hard and painful and I am constantly reminded over how much I can't plan it out and how I need to trust Him with it all. It is so hard for me to find peace when all I am is consumed with anxiety. The beautiful thing is that one day there will be total peace when we go to our real home. I am praying for you, Brittany. I hope you can find peace when times are hard.

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