With only weeks left to go before the wedding, I have asked some of my friends to share their hearts on marriage with you. They each are from different stages of life, from being married for three weeks to three years with two babies.
Each one of their stories and wisdom has touched my heart, and helped me as I prepare my heart for my own marriage in a few weeks.
This week,meet Stacey. She is the new-est wed friend, and one one of my bridesmaids. I've seen her grow so much in the past year, and can't wait to see how God uses this new season to grow and refine her even more.
Everyone say, Hi Stacey!
3 weeks ago, I got up on a perfect sunny day that was August 17th, drank a mimosa, hung out with my best friends while hired professionals made me a beauty queen for the day, and then I put on a long white dress. I walked down the aisle toward my dream man, took his hands, looked into his gorgeous blue eyes and promised him forever. After dancing and laughing and eating with all the people who love us the most, he whisked me away to a week-long dream vacation in Cancun, Mexico. We laughed, we loved, we lived – we were basically one giant happily ever after.
Then we got home and went grocery shopping together, couldn’t agree on what kind of cheese to buy, slept in separate rooms a couple nights because of the snoring (I won’t tell you who snores, but it’s not me), tried to make plans for finances…. and I almost called for an annulment. I felt like a failure that first week after the honeymoon was over – what kind of wife am I? I get annoyed for no reason, I struggle with working 8:30-5 and having dinner on the table for my husband, I can’t find time to clean, cook, and work all in the same day, I don’t encourage Jakob because I’m so exhausted and discouraged.
Then one day, after two weeks of marriage and one week of feeling like the biggest failure in the world, I woke up and found a note:
“I love you so much. You are the most important thing in my life, and I wanna get better at showing that to you. I wanna not fight so much, and treat you better, and forgive more freely. Please forgive me. I’ve been praying for you all morning long. I love you, beautiful.”
That day, something shifted. In me, and maybe in him, too.
At night, he started holding me while he prayed for us, then reading out loud from his bible before I fell asleep. Every night he ends the day like that, and every morning he asks me if I’ve spent time with God.
We fell right back into being the happiest people in the world.
These three weeks have given me a short but sure lesson on marriage. It’s not about me looking pretty, having the house perfect, and rubbing my husband’s feet while he watches football.
It’s about forgiving freely and quickly, keeping each other as the most important thing, praying for each other, and fighting furiously for the love we felt on August 17th. Three weeks isn’t too early to start advancing in the battle that is marriage – because when God brings two people together, the enemy would love nothing more than to tear them apart.
Marriage is the most refining, most beautiful, most sacred union on this earth – I am lucky enough to share that union with a man who loves God and His church more than he loves anything else. Sure, I use Pinterest recipes and decorate our home, and rub his back and sit with him while he watches football – but the thing that binds us together, makes us strong, and keeps us happy is nothing more than those moments we share at the end of the night, surrendering ourselves to God by each other’s sides.
We admit that it’s hard, we struggle with figuring out how to live together better, how to love each other stronger – but admitting it leaves room for growth, and growth produces change, and change is what we need.
I love marriage.