Friday, September 20, 2013

This Is Marriage: Part 2

Hey friends---I'd like to introduce you to my friend Karrissa...

Who am I kidding? If you read my blog at ALL you probably have seen her face or heard her name almost as much as mine. She's one of my besties I met at work, and also my MOH. I absolutely LOVE her, and Ronnie and I also love her husband Krieg! So obviously, I wanted her to weigh in on this 4 week series about marriage. I think you will LOVE what she has to say!

 

Hi, friends! Brittany asked me to share some marriage advice with you, and now that I’ve been married for over a year I’ve pretty much got it all down! (I kid..) I guess to start I should give you a little background. I met my husband Krieg in Spanish class in 2009, my Sophomore year of college. Technically, we went to the same high school and had seen each other in passing, but we didn’t actually know each other. We were partnered together for the final Spanish project and it’s pretty much history from there! We got engaged in 2011 and were married August 3, 2012.
To me, marriage wasn’t a HUGE adjustment. I actually find living with a guy a lot easier and cleaner than living with girls! I didn’t wake up a few weeks into my marriage and think HOLY COW my life is completley different! Krieg and I hadn’t lived together before our marriage but we had spent a lot of time together and we had a good rhythm. However, with a shared space, a shared bank account, and a new marriage on your plate a lot of things do have to change to make it work.
Here are a few things that helped us find a healthy balance and strengthened our marriage:
 
Defining our ‘Roles’. Krieg and I both work full time. Because of this, it was never expected that I ‘manage the household’. We split a lot of things up, I typically do all the laundry and clean bathrooms, while Krieg does a lot of dishes and vacuuming. I manage the money and Krieg manages the lawn. I also don’t cook meals ever 7 nights a week and Krieg gets home from work before I do, so he is usually the one that makes us dinner. It works for us. We found a good balance that we have both agreed on and I find comfort and satisfaction in my marriage when I come home and it’s not expected that I serve a balanced meal and then clean up the dishes while my husband watches football.
Setting Goals for the Future.We created a list of things we want completed before we bring children into the world. Some of those goals include paying off our student loan debt, traveling, and having XX amount of money in savings. Planning for our future has helped us stay on the same page. When we budget, we know how important it is to up or student loan payment, it’s no longer a discussion. Making goals for the future has helped us ease confusion and stay on the page.
Having Alone Time. I love my husband, of course, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him 24/7! I LOVE to spend time by myself. Whether it’s time spent watching trashy tv, going on a jog, or reading a book I feel recharged when I can just unwind alone. Krieg and I are comfortable enough in our relationship that if I need a few hours to lay in my bed in my pink fluffy robe and watch Real Housewives of OC while eating chips and salsa, he gives me my space. Krieg is also activley invovled in the lacrosse community and spends a lot of time doing his own thing outside of the house. It’s important to have time alone, so you always cherish your time together.
Finding Good Couple Friends.I think couple friends are so important! While it’s great to have your own friends, it’s awesome to have people to go do things with. Brittany and Ronnie have been great couple friends, we even had dinner together this week! Finding other couples with shared interests and beliefs makes for a fun date night where you can both enjoy the company of other people together!
Going to Church Together.Everytime Krieg and I go to church together I feel our marriage strengthen. We attend church where we were married and I find myself reliving that day when I sit in the pews and look up at the stain glass windows. Having a strong, shared belief system is SO important, and it’s nice that we can reaffirm that together each Sunday.
 


 

So, there you have it! Being married is amazing, and I’m lucky to have a husband who is my best friend, my equal partner, and my soulmate. If you are married, I hope you feel the same way about your spouse! If you aren’t married, I hope you keep similar thoughts in mind while dating. Thanks for reading! And come visit me at Karissa & Company!

2 comments:

  1. I love these posts! I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 1/2 years and we've talked a lot about marriage and our future together. The changes that we will be making. I know it takes effort from both sides to make it all work and fall into place. I'm excited to see what life will bring our way and the many years god grants us together to be beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your advice it really helps =)

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  2. I love sitting next to Jordan in church! Great post.

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