|A mommy group I haven't and won't break up with-these are real moms and real friends from church|
The lord has used motherhood to shape, refine and prune me. He's exposed major areas of my heart that are just ugly. I was desperately trying to control everything around me, seeking that perfect formula for winning at motherhood that I was stressed and anxious more then I was soaking up and enjoying that fleeting newborn stage. For me, one small step in opening up my hand and giving up control was breaking up with the mommy boards. Now, when things don't go like I planned or if I have questions, I talk to other moms in my real life community, I call the nurse line at the doctor, or sometimes I shrug my shoulders and say "Babies rule the world!" and accept the fact that I am not in control and that is a good thing. Porter continues to surprise me and has me shaking my head in disbelief often, but I've come to embrace that part of motherhood because I know this is only the beginning.